It’s a word we hear very often.
A man and a woman meet.
Fall madly in love. Get married.
And live happily ever after!
… At least that’s how it goes in the movies!
In real life?
It’s just as likely that they won’t.
… Here’s how the Torah describes the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca.
“He married Rebecca. She became his wife.” (Genesis, 24:67)
Don’t worry. It’s coming!
“And he loved her.”
No one would buy the rights to this movie!
Love coming after marriage?
… What does “they fell in love” mean?
It usually means that they’re physically attracted to each other.
That it feels good when they’re together.
Or “she satisfies my emotional needs.” “He’s so much fun!”
They might be good reasons for another date!
…Bur that’s not what the Torah calls love.
Love means becoming one. On the deepest level.
And what does that come from?
From having the same goals in life. And working together to achieve them.
The more meaningful the goal?
The deeper the connection.
… Two guys were called before the judge.
“What were you doing outside at 3:00 in the morning?”
One guy answers, “Nothing, Your Honor.”
Then the judge says to the other one, “And what about you?”
“I was helping him!”
Helping someone do nothing is not very meaningful.
… Isaac had a goal.
To grow spiritually. And to help establish the Jewish People.
And for that he needed a wife with similar qualities to his mother Sarah.
Rebecca had those spiritual qualities.
And as they began working together?
They started really loving each other.
… So if we want to have a loving relationship?
Of course, we need to get to know the other person.
But even more important?
We need to know ourselves.
… What are our goals in life?
All the best,