Hi,
Hope you’re having a great day.
So Lashon Harah is terrible.
And we need to work hard on not gossiping.
But it’s a little more complicated.
Because there are times when we’re permitted to give information about someone else.
In fact, we’re obligated to.
When it serves a constructive purpose.
Your friend’s considering a partnership with someone. Or thinking of dating someone.
And you know something about the other party.
You know that your friend can really be harmed.
According to Jewish tradition, you can not “mind your own business”!
You have to share the information.
That’s not considered Lashon Harah. “Evil” talk.
It’s constructive.
… But don’t click send so fast!
Here are just some of the conditions that have to be met.
You have to really know it. Not something you heard.
Not allowed to exaggerate. Can’t embellish.
O.K. Ready to send now?
There’s another condition.
Can you can protect your friend from harm without sharing the information?
Suppose you can just say, “I really don’t think that partnership will work.
Or don’t bother going out. The date will be a real bomb!
I know both of you. The chemistry just won’t be good.”
If that would be enough?
There is no need to say more. And you can’t say more.
… O.K. Ready to click?
Here’s an amazing condition!
One that I’ve never seen anyone think of on their own.
But that’s why we need guidance from Jewish tradition.
The person that you’re talking about?
Let’s say you really don’t like him.
“I’ve been waiting my whole life to get this guy.
Finally. Now it’s a Mitzvah. I’m obligated to talk about him.
Boy. Will I enjoy this!”
Forget it. You’re not allowed to share the information!
If you’re going to have fun? It’s Lashon Harah!
All the best,