Hi,

Tuesday we spoke about a Jewish wedding.

Today?  The hard part.

Finding the right one!

Its time to find a wife for Isaac.

… Ask someone these days, “What are you looking for?”

You might hear things like, “Accomplished. Witty.  Intelligent. 

Or athletic.  Has to love the outdoors.”

And of course, “romantic!”!

Deeper people know that character is very important.

It’s got to be right up there!

… Abraham sends his trusted servant Eliezer to find a wife for Isaac. (Genesis, 24)

What’s on the list?

Chessed.  Acts of kindness.

Mix that with Divine providence (what we call Bashert), and you’re all set!

(Of course, chemistry is important.  But with chessed there’s what to talk about!)

Eliezer asks G-d for assistance in finding the right one.

And then the test.

Eliezer says, “I’ll stand by the well where the women come to draw water.

And I’ll ask one for a drink from her jug.

If she says, “Drink and I will also give water to your camels.”

Then she’s the one!”

She has to show concern for other people.

And even for animals!

… In Jewish tradition, chessed is not just a plus.

Something that improves the chances of a good relationship.

It’s the primary purpose of marriage.

We all have an obligation to find time for acts of kindness.

No matter how busy our lives may be.

But marriage is about chessed!

It’s a shift in focus.

Marriage requires us to make the needs of our spouse our primary focus.

To become givers and not takers.

(And that’s why G-d said “It’s not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis, 2:18)

Because alone he couldn’t be a giver!)

… We talk about “the small things” one spouse does for another.

But they’re not small things.

They show that you think of them.  Always!

And that makes them big things.

…If it hasn’t been as easy for us as it was for Isaac?

And we’re still looking?

We should put chessed at the top of the list!

 All the best,